Friday, August 21, 2009

Alone, listening to the romantic whispers of a commercial grade Honeywell fan

Odilia Rivera Santos

I was surrounded by people as a child: relatives, neighbors, friends, an occasional pet.
Even as a very young child, I thought about spending time alone and in silence.
I would crawl under the dining room table with a book, some crackers and a glass of milk, determined to sit out the busyness of the day. But it didn't die down until late evening and it wasn't that comfortable down there, so I would dust myself off and begrudgingly join my mother at whatever she was doing.
I never understood people who were in the social swirl constantly although I could easily do it and have at times.
But lately, the idea of expending energy in mediocre exchanges has become foreign or more foreign to my nature I should say.

In my solitude, I write, sing, meditate and think. I believe these to be necessary activities as i seek to simplify all things that can be simplified.
Leeches fall away - you know, the people who would borrow your brain and sneak it back into your room while you're sleeping, except they would leave it slightly tilted and you'd notice upon awakening.

I am thinking about how pleasurable it is to think, sort, organize and absorb information and for a brief millisecond, the idea of crawling back to academia. ..
but I digress on my way to a digression.

Suffice it to say that being alone to do things as I will at my pace is not lonely or maybe it is lonely, but in a heavenly grown-up way like reading the paper on a long train ride from England to Scotland or sliding underneath the water in that public pool under the stars after a long sweat.

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