Wednesday, April 1, 2009

The Love Column. Fresh advice daily almost everyday when i remember

Don't read books on the opposite sex; if you already have, delete memory files and begin again like an ingenue. If you are unwilling to trust statements that begin with Black people are . . . , Italians are . . . , Latinos are . . ., why would you trust a statement beginning with men are . . . or women are . . .?

We should be as unaccepting of essentialist concepts about men and women as we are about racist, sexist, homophobic or anti-semitic comments.

Can you find a kernel of truth in a book about the opposite sex?
Yes, but not because there is great wisdom therein but because we always find what we look for.
If you look for a man to be a liar, he will be. If you look for a woman to be a gold digger, she will be. If you look for a dangerous lover mistaking danger for passionate engagement with the world, he or she will be dangerous and unsettling.

The most important kernel of your self is your faith.
Faith in possibilities. Faith in people.
Faith in greatness in the area of your work, which is a profoundly important individual project in this world. A project that intertwines you with the right people and energies and enhances love.

Remember the gist of bad experiences but let go of the details.
The details breed cynicism and cynicism is the enemy of any growth or sincere emotion.

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