Survival

I owe you another entry. 

And it seemed like the right time to speak of survival.

 

At present, I am awash in joy and this is survival to me. 

My feet are firmly rooted on this ground

my mind surveys the present circumstances with an assured calm 

and my shoulders are relaxed. 

I have braced myself, not for disasters, but for unbelievable good luck.

A synchronicity that causes the right people to walk toward me 

as the wrong people walk away.

I am not tempted to act out of fear.

Small acts and moments of sitting still are acts of faith. 

I used to say to my students from domestic violence shelters, 

"Don't talk about faith unless you're going to live as if you had faith!"

 

My yoga practice is not about perfecting my yoga postures - 

not about saying I am advanced in my postures and could be an instructor if I chose. 

My yoga practice would be more aptly called my life practice.

My mother was a very clever woman before brain hemmorages whisked her away

to ruminations about the past and worries about problems resolved long ago - like whether her baby will survive to adulthood. 

I have survived. 

My mother prior to the implosion of her senses was very wise despite her 6th grade education. 

She said to me "God is watching."

This was a nondenominational God that peered at me from between clouds, through the eyes of my aunts, brothers, sisters, teachers, madmen and women in public places and even infants and animals.

Those three words made me slow down and look around before I did something bad and at times, they prevented my mischief.

I would add to her words the following

God is teaching

God is guiding

God is helping

Like my mother, I have a shrine to saints and a strong belief that if I do the right thing, I will be well and do well. 

Material circumstances may change but there is one constant: I am my mother's daughter and she taught me well.